By Holly Batchelder, PhD
Understanding Languishing
Languishing is a term many of us have heard, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Coined by sociologist Corey Keyes, languishing describes a feeling of emptiness and stagnation. It's a state of survival, not thriving, but also not necessarily depressed. Many found relief in having a word to describe the struggle they were experiencing.
Now, in 2024, people may still experience languishing. But why? And how do we know if it’s what we’re feeling? Here are some signs of languishing:
Lack of motivation
Difficulty focusing
Feeling aimless or indifferent
A sense of stagnation
Tips to Overcome Languishing
1. Recognize and Label It:
Acceptance: Notice when you’re feeling this way without judgment. Simply labeling it as "languishing" can help create cognitive defusion—separating yourself from your feelings to gain a sense of control.
2. Practice Mindfulness:
Be Present: Engage in mindfulness practices without judgment. This can help maintain self-compassion and reduce the impact of negative thoughts.
3. Break Tasks into Small Wins:
Behavioral Activation: Start with small, manageable tasks. Celebrate these small wins to build momentum and reduce the overwhelm that comes with larger tasks.
4. Self-Compassion:
Avoid the Shame Cycle: Be kind to yourself. Prevent judgment to avoid the vicious cycle of shame and avoidance. Self-compassion helps in breaking this cycle.
5. Create a Routine:
Structure: Establishing a daily routine can bring predictability and structure, helping to combat the aimlessness of languishing.
6. Engage in Physical Activity:
Movement: Regular exercise has been shown to improve mood and energy levels. Even a short walk can make a significant difference.
7. Social Connection:
Community: Spend time with friends and family. Social interaction can be incredibly beneficial, even if it’s tempting to isolate.
8. Focus on the Basics:
Healthy Habits: Ensure you’re getting enough sleep, maintaining a balanced diet, and getting sunlight. These fundamental habits can go a long way in improving your overall well-being.
For me, one of the struggles of languishing is my lower motivation for tasks, especially those I find mundane, like cleaning and cooking. By practicing non-judgment and self-compassion, I can avoid the shame-avoidance cycle. Breaking tasks into smaller steps and celebrating these small wins help me maintain a functional household. Additionally, getting outside, moving more, and staying connected with my community are invaluable.
Sources
Grant, Adam. "There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing." The New York Times, April 19, 2021.
Keyes, Corey L. M. "The Mental Health Continuum: From Languishing to Flourishing in Life." Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 2002.
There you have it—tips and tricks to help overcome languishing. By recognizing it and taking small, compassionate steps, we can move towards a more fulfilling and purposeful life.